Gamin’ 4 Aven Goal Hit a Month Early!

Thanks to a $900 (!!!) corporate match (check to see if your company does one, it’s a huge impact!), the Gamin’ 4 Aven campaign went from eclipsing $5,500 on Sunday thanks to the game week matching to crushing my initial $6,000 goal. As I write this, the campaign sits at $6,419 over a full month before my 24-hour marathon slated for December 13-14.

So what does this mean?

First, I have some work to do to increase the goal and start putting in stretch goals. There’s no way I’m stopping this train now!

Second, this has unlocked the next terrible drink, which will be all three terrible Triforce shots combined. This will be consumed on my next stream, slated for Friday, November 8 at 9pm CT on my Twitch channel.

Finally, this has also unlocked the chest waxing. This idea was floated by my lovely wife who turned my annual question of being a part of a stream into this truly evil idea. This will occur at the start of my 24-hour marathon on December 13 (tentative start time is 7pm CT).

I can’t thank y’all enough for how much of a success this year has been and am unbelievably excited for how much further we can push this. Keep spreading the word, keep the donations coming, and keep helping Oklahoma kids in the fight against pediatric cancer.

#ForTheKids #ForAven

Stream Schedule Update! Link’s Awakening Remake Begins Friday, September 20

It’s been a while since I sent out an update, but wanted to take the time to do so to highlight some upcoming streams and give an update on my Gamin’ 4 Aven Extra Life campaign.

Tonight, at around 9pm CT/10pm ET, I plan to conclude my first ever play-through of the NES classic, The Legend of Zelda, taking on Death Mountain and Ganon live on Twitch. During this run, we’ve raised $622.73 for the Children’s Hospital Foundation of Oklahoma City, bringing my total to $4,627.37 for the entire campaign! My death tax for the game is currently over $100 and that donation will be made tonight once Ganon falls.

However, I don’t want to bury the lede in this post. One of my favorite games, The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening has been remade for the Switch and releases this Friday, September 20. Initially, I thought about doing this game during my marathon in December, but I simply can’t wait and want to keep this momentum going with this new release.

Also, after some tinkering around, I’ve slightly modified the donation incentives. As hilarious as it is for me to try and play blindfolded, it doesn’t really translate well when no one can tell me what’s going on. So, for the new $50 incentive, I will be wearing a pair of kaleidoscope glasses for 5 minutes, with a 1 minute bonus for every additional $10 over $50.

RIP, my eyes

I won’t be receiving these bad boys until tomorrow, so for tonight’s stream I will find some way to obscure my vision that isn’t a blindfold for any such donation.

A quick recap of all donation incentives (which help me die in game to add $1 to the death tax):

  • $5 – Oven mitts for 2 minutes
  • $10 – Oven mitts for 5 minutes
  • $25 – Play with inverted controller for 5 minutes
  • $50 – Play with kaleidoscope glasses for 5 minutes (1 minute bonus for every extra $10 over $50)

If you take my death tax into account, we are under $300 from hitting the $5,000 milestone. This not only means a horrible drink, but also a guarantee that 100% of all funds raised goes to the Blake Shelton Cancer Research Fund.

To recap: we’re going to take out Ganon, start our quest to wake the Wind Fish, and help kick cancer’s ass by hitting that $5,000 milestone!

Zelda Streams Start September 1!

First off, thank you all so much for helping me topple the $4,000 milestone! I’m way ahead of last year’s pace and can’t wait to see just how far this thing goes.

Y’all have done your part, so now it’s time to do mine. Some of the milestone beverages were consumed on the private stream, but the milestone drinks are for all to enjoy. That means I really needed to schedule a stream to consume the $2,500, $3,000, $3,500, and $4,000 milestone beverages as well as kick of my Legend of Zelda theme in earnest.

So come join me this Sunday, September 1 at around 9pm CT/10pm ET on as I start my first-ever playthrough of the NES Classic: The Legend of Zelda. This blind playthrough will be accompanied by consuming one of those God-awful milestone concoctions every 30 minutes for your entertainment. Believe me when I say, they are all really terrible, but if you want the full details of the ingredients, you can find that here.

Any stream wouldn’t be complete without me having any skin in the game. The $1 per death tax will be in place for every Zelda game, something that should quickly rack up since I’ve never played the first two NES games. But, where’s the fun in not having everyone mess with me as well? 

With that in mind, here are your donation incentives:

$5 – Play with oven mitts for 2 minutes
$10 – Play with oven mitts for 5 minutes
$25 – Play with controller upside-down for 5 minutes
$50 – Play blindfolded for 2 minutes

And yes, all of these can stack. So if someone donates $25 and someone else $5, I’m playing with both oven mitts on and the controller upside-down. You can add time with these donations as well. Donations made outside of streaming time will still count, but will occur randomly.

Thanks again for your support and for spreading the word!

#ForTheKids #ForAven

Introducing the 2019 Milestone Drinks

During last year’s Extra Life campaign, I discovered that people rather enjoyed watching me consume the most terrible, God-awful drinks imaginable. I decided that such a thing would be a staple going forward because I will absolutely to dumb and terrible things for charity.

This process was rather easy last year. Every drink that I did was a recipe that people created based off of what I played last year, Mass Effect. I’m not sure why the majority of those drinks leaned into awful/terribly strong territory, but they did.

This year, I did not have the same “luxury” of finding ready-to-go recipes that would fit the criteria I was looking for. So I had to get a little bit creative, drawing inspiration from cocktails that sounded great and making them just downright terrifying.

With that in mind, let’s get to the pain. As I’m going to be playing games in both the Final Fantasy and The Legend of Zelda series, the first $2,000 of milestones are centered in a Final Fantasy theme with the remaining drinks inspired by The Legend of Zelda.

2019 Milestone Drinks

$500Aether1.5 oz White Rum
.75 oz Everclear
.75 oz Blue Curaco
Sprite fill
Loosely based off of the Lifestream cocktail, but with a much bigger punch.
$1,000Inner Darkness.75 oz Dark Rum
.75 oz Jager
Dash Hot Sauce
Loosely based off the One-Winged Angel, but with much more booze and taking a far more "harsh" approach with the hot suace.
$1,36910,000 Needles1.5 oz Peach Brandy
0.5 oz Orange Juice
Fill glass with André Rosé
Four Dashes (one for each year) El Yucateco XXXtra Hot Habanero
As discussed in this post, to celebrate hitting $10k raised, I'm going to take a $10k cocktail and make it something that no one would want to buy or consume.
$1,500ShadowbringerAether + Inner DarknessIn order to become the Warrior of Darkness, I only assume you have to bring out the inner darkness within your own aether--or something. Inspired by the Corrupted Lifestream.
$2,000Triforce of Power1.5 Goldschlagger
.75 Grenadine (for color)
.75 Fireball
Top Layer Float - 151, lit on fire
A drink inspired by the goddess Din, represented by red and fire (and pain).
$2,500Jager BombchuShot 1: Jager

Shot 2: Bombchu
.75 Blue Curaco
.75 Vodka

Drop in glass with energy drink
Why have just a regular bomb when you can have a blue bombchu as well?!
$3,000Triforce of Wisdom1.5 oz Goldschlagger
1.5 oz Hypnotic
Top Layer Float - Everclear
The only wise thing would be not drinking this. I'm sure the goddess Nayru would agree. Hypotic for Nayru's color of blue and Everclear for the "clarity" that wisdom provides.
$3,500Ganon1 oz Khalua
1 oz Vodka
Soda Water
Float Triforce of Power
When Ganondorf grabbed the Triforce of Power, he became the monstrous entity known as Ganon, or so some legends say. So we are taking the Mind Eraser cocktail and tossing the Triforce of Power in.
$4,000Triforce of Courage1.5 oz Goldschlagger
1.5 oz Midori
Top Layer Float - Absnithe
Unsure if the absinthe in this will make me see any green fairies like the goddess Farore, but I'm definitely going to need every last bit of courage to keep going. Midori for the green that represents Farore.
$4,500Yiga ClanGanon + 99 BananasEveryone's favorite banana loving random encounters from The Breath of the Wild, now honored by a 99 proof floater in the drink named after the entity that corrupted them.
$5,000Blake Shelton's Hometown SpecialCombine one can of Bud Light with a double vodka sprite--chug within 9 seconds.Hitting $5,000 means all funds will go directly to the Blake Shelton Cancer Research Fund. To honor this achievement, we're going to make someone that Blake (nor any human) would ever drink.

We will take two separate drinks:
(1) Bud Light, supposedly Oklahoma's best selling beer.

(2) Blake's favorite: Vodka with a "little bit" of lemon-lime soda.

These will be thrown into one larger cup and consumed within 9 seconds to honor Oklahoma's recently raised beer ABV limit of 8.99%.
$5,500Silver Arrow Through the Heart of GanonShot: Silver Arrow
1.5 oz Scotch/Bourbon
.75 Gin

Dropped into the Ganon drink.
The Silver Arrow, one of the few legendary weapons strong enough to fell Ganon, created by taking the Silver Bullet shooter, renaming it Silver Arrow, and dropping it right into the heart of the Ganon cocktail.

I too may be defeated by this.
$6,000The Ultimate PowerCombine Triforce of Power, Courage, and WisdomFew can properly wield The Ultimate Power, the combined Triforce. Likewise, I'm not sure anyone can properly consume the monstrosity of a shot.

Silver lining: going to be extremely numb for the chest waxing.

Friendly reminder, the fun starts in earnest this Friday, June 29! Please be sure to check out the full schedule of opening streams.

What’s a Shadowbringer?

Four years ago, I decided to embark on my first Extra Life campaign. This was well before I discovered that milestones that have me to do/consume terrible things would become as big a staple as video games are to my fundraising.

So, back in November 2014, I fired up Final Fantasy XIV to begin my first Extra Life stream. In just one week, June 28th to be specific, I will kick off this year’s campaign with FFXIV’s latest expansion, Shadowbringers.

This time around, I figured some background would help as, to quote one of the folks that watched me play FFXIV in my first campaign, “I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m intrigued”. After all, unlike most games, this is a MMO, meaning the whole premise is based on playing with other real people. It’s not exactly a linear experience which can make for a very confusing viewing experience.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to even attempt to explain the lore and story of how we got from version 1.0 to version 5.0 that will release next Friday. Instead, I’m going to detail the incentives to both donate and watch the streams that will kick off next week. I can happily talk about the lore during the stream, but you want to know how to force me to donate out of my own pocket what to cheer for.

The Death Tax

Last year, because I knew Mass Effect fairly well, I pledged $5 per death. With a new expansion, I’m going to have no clue what’s coming and neither will the other players. Plus, my main job in the game is to literally be the person that gets hit all the damn time– in short, I should be the one dying first.

With that in mind, my in-game death tax will be reduced to $1; however, if the entire party dies (known as a wipe), the penalty will remain $5.

In short, in these games you learn by failure. The deaths will be frequent; however, there are always was to make them more frequent…

Donation Incentives

Amount Action
$10Intentionally hit a party member with a boss mechanic/attack.

Time and target chosen by me.
$20Ban an ability, chosen at random. Can stack.

Lasts for an entire dungeon run/instance.

One stack removed from all bans upon death.
$37Intentionally kill a party member, chosen at random.

Failure to kill in a single dungeon run/instance is a $5 penalty to me.
$50As Tank: Drop tank stance

As Healer: Stop healing one party member, chosen at random

As Damage Dealer (DPS): Dance in place and stop moving/attacking.

Each of the above will last for a single fight/pull.

Let’s go over each of these so you have a better idea of how to make me dead your donations are going to work.

  • $10 – Every boss has multiple kinds of mechanics and attacks. About 90% of the time, if you are doing things right you are either avoiding them or making sure your party doesn’t get hit by them. So this will make me do things very wrong and hit a party member with something that could kill them.
  • $20 – Ah, the ever popular one. In FFXIV there are a group of abilities called “cooldowns” that can help enhance damage or protect you from dying. This will ban one of those abilities. For example, in my main role as a tank, I have a set of abilities I rotate through to survive certain attacks…not having these can be bad, bad news.
  • $37 – We #RememberTheSix (or at least Notre Dame fans will) by intentionally killing a party member. I am going to try to group up in two ways: with CPU members known as “trusts”, or with my friends that I play with. Yes, some of them willingly signed up for this. There’s a lot of ways to cause death, but if somehow my target makes it out alive, it’s $5 out of my pocket.
  • $50 – So each of these outcomes are flat out party-crippling. By dropping a tank stance, I’m disabling a very basic ability to build enmity, which keeps enemies hitting me and not everyone else. Chaos will ensue. Flat out not healing someone should be self explanatory, and if this happens to be a tank, it’s gonna be real bad time. And the dancing in place (more hilarious because I’ll likely be playing a Dancer for the DPS role) just means I’m a waste of space. I’m also opening myself to getting hit by, well, everything.

Now, there may be times when I’m grouped with random people that have no clue what I’m doing. I’m going to spare those poor souls and let the incentives carry over until I have a chance to unleash the pain on people I actually know/agreed to all this. So keep that in mind!


I actually took time off for a solid week of streaming. The fun will kick off on June 28 at 4 AM (CT)–yes, that’s not a typo, that’s when the servers are scheduled to go live. Further, to celebrate in the spirit of Extra Life gaming marathons, June 28 will be XIV hours of FFXIV.

Want me to go longer? (That’s what she said!) Every $100 donated until the end of the marathon will add 15 minutes to the clock. If you’re doing the math at home, that’s 90 seconds for every $10 or 9 seconds per dollar. I’ll be sure to play every last second, and, yes, I’m counting donations already received as well.

The longer you keep me up, the slower my reactions, the more chance for mistakes, meaning more deaths and wipes, meaning more money for the kids!

As I mentioned, the marathon will not be the only stream. Be sure to check out streams throughout the weekend and following week! The full schedule is embedded below. Each stream will be a minimum of three hours long.

Extra Life 2019: The Major Milestones

Throughout the years, I’ve found that the best motivation for donations lies in making me do terrible things. Most often, this comes in the form of terrible booze concoctions every $500, but there also has to be larger, overarching goal that I have to carry with me for a while.

Here’s the example from last year to “celebrate” hitting the $5,000 mark:

Yes. Full pornstache. For the kids, obviously

This year, I am again pushing to raise more money. More money means higher stakes. I’m happy (well, mostly) to announce a couple major milestone “incentives” for 2019.

$6,000 Goal: Chest Waxed Live on Stream

I’ve been asking for my wife to join me in some way on stream the past few years. She was far too excited to give this as the suggestion. I am a fool for leaving everything on the table.

So yes, Mrs. Tex will join me on stream when this goal is hit. It will be live and I will immediately regret the decision when it happens.

$10,000 Total Raised: 10,000 Needles Cocktail

Did you know that I’m currently $1,368.98 away from raising $10,000 for Extra Life? That’s quite an achievement, especially considering that this is only my fourth year.

Did you further know that there is actually a cocktail served in Las Vegas, specifically the Wynn’s XS Nightclub, called the Ono that costs $10,000 to purchase?

Of course, that cocktail actually sounds pretty tasty. Clearly, I can’t do that. So let’s go down the list of ingredients and make this incredibly crappy and offensive to my taste buds:

  • Rémy Martin Louis XVIII Black Pearl Cognac – This cognac retails at over $2,000 per shot so yeah, we’re just gonna use something slightly cheaper.
  • Apricot Puree – I’m not pureeing anything for a terrible drink. Believe it or not, a drink from last year, Serrice Ice Brandy, actually called for apricot flavored brandy. We couldn’t find any, so we have peach brandy in the house. Guess what I’m using!
  • Charles Heidsieck 1981 Champagne Charlie – This champagne retails at $500 per bottle. NOPE! Cheap bubbly it is.
  • Rose Nectar – To quote the Eater description, “the Sence Rose Nectar the XS adds to the Ono is a syrup made from Kazanlak roses harvested in a three-week period from central Bulgaria.” I don’t even know what that means, much less how to replicate. Since I need cheap champagne too, let’s just fulfill this with some André Rosé. Fancy!
  • Fresh-Squeezed Orange Juice – Yeah, whatever’s in my fridge is going in here.

Of course, if I’m going to call this thing 10,000 needles (for more reasons than I’m a Final Fantasy fan), I need to get something to kick it up a notch. With that in mind, I turned to the Scoville scale, aka the spicy meter, and found out that a hot sauce I have is in the 10,000 range, El Yucateco XXXtra Hot Habanero. Perfect!

With that in mind, here comes the pain, served in a champagne glass:

10,000 Needles

  • 1.5 oz Peach Brandy
  • 0.5 oz Orange Juice
  • Fill glass with André Rosé
  • Four Dashes (one for each year) El Yucateco XXXtra Hot Habanero

Stay tuned for more news of the terrible drinks that I will consume every $500!