Tag Archives: Coaches are insane

Did That Just Happen? Part 2: Hello Kiffin!

As the National Championship came to a close, it seemed the world of college football would go back into peaceful slumber and all of the insanity that occurred during the bowl season appeared to be behind us all.  However, just as I was ready to turn my full focus to the NFL, contemplating the start of the Brian Kelly era, and beginning to wish baseball season was about to start, everyone associated with Southern Cal Athletics apparently decided it was their turn to take hold of the  “Lose Your Damn Mind” wheel.

With the NCAA looming large over the Trojans thanks to several different violations, most notably the scandals of Reggie Bush and O.J. Mayo, USC figured they would sacrifice their basketball program in hopes to please the NCAA from taking further action.  Then, seemingly out of nowhere, rumors started popping up that Pete Carroll was the top target for the Seattle Seahawks, and some sources even went as far as saying it was basically a done deal.  Just a couple of days later, the deal was done, and Carroll swiped a life boat of the Titanic before the NCAA delivered their final blow to USC.

Of course, though, looming sanctions had no effect on Carroll’s decision:

Talking with the Los Angeles Times, Carroll said his pending move wasn’t in reaction to possible sanctions the Trojans’ program faces as a result of an ongoing investigation over whether players may have received improper benefits.

“Not in any way,” Carroll told the newspaper. “Because I know where we stand. It’s just a process we have to go through. We know we’ve fought hard to do right.”

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…

However, the fun (and laughter as USC’s expense) was only beginning.  Those Trojan fans that had previously laughed at Notre Dame’s coaching searches, seeing coach after coach deny rumors and interest of a home under the Dome, were severed one of the largest slices of humble pie in recent memory.  No one wanted to touch the USC job with a 10-foot pole with the NCAA ready to cripple their coaching era immediately.  Top candidate Jack Del Rio quickly became USC’s version of a Bob Stoops rumor as he denied any job offer was made.  Washington coach, Steve Sarkisian, had to deny similar rumors as well.  With seemingly no clear cut candidate on the market, and with recruits wavering after Carroll’s departure, the Fall of Troy was looking all but certain.  In fact, many a Notre Dame fan began to hope for what could have been the most humorous hire of all time:

Don't lie, this would've been amazing.

However, it seemed we were all not thinking outside of the box.  The evil geniuses at Southern Cal had something else up their sleeve.  They knew exactly the kind of person that would be more than happy to take on a program riddled with NCAA violations, has no shame, and has absolutely zero issues leaving a job after just 14 months:

KIFFYKINS!!!

I thought this was all just another awful (yet humorous) internet rumor, but no, Lane Kiffin actually did prove he is one of the worst human beings on the planet and left Tennessee for Southern Cal.  I’m pretty sure this reaction says it all:

This must've done wonders for Meyer's health.

The hits just kept on coming that night, as Kiffin had a press conference to bid farewell to Tennessee in what might just be one of the worst pressers ever:

Yes, you heard right, he definitely said he gave his all for 14 months and also called USC by the name they detest, Southern Cal.  Simply amazing.

How you can even remotely justify hiring a coach that in just a single season, committed multiple secondary NCAA violations, and also had some of his players arrested for armed robbery?  Then of course you have some other humorous incidents that have come to light, mainly that Kiffin neglected to obtain a Tennessee driver’s license and also wrecked a Lexus that was loaned to him.  This is the guy you want while the NCAA already has the magnifying glass on you?  Really?!

It isn’t even as if a change in location would change anything; in fact, one of Kiffin’s assistants, Ed Orgeron, attempted to poach Tennessee recruits and get them to flip to USC during Kiffin’s “farewell” presser.  While Orgeron’s actions weren’t technically against any NCAA rules, it certainly is beyond an unethical move of the highest level.  Just think about it: he was recruiting for USC, while still in Tennessee facilities.

Have no fear though, it took Kiffikins just 10 days to obtain his first secondary violation as head coach of USC by picking up a recruit in a limo.  So much for keeping his nose clean (also that might be a record for violation speed, I’m impressed).  At it seems that Lane’s crazy ways has rubbed off on dear old dad, as a high school athletic director had this to say about the Trojans new recruiting habits:

[Nickell Robey is] planning to visit Southern Cal next week. Monte Kiffin has been very persistent. He’s probably been in here more than is legal. Of course they don’t pay attention to the rules.

It is almost as if Kiffin and company are trying to create their own version of “The U”.  Simply replace over the top attitude and celebration dances with secondary recruiting violations and that’s pretty much what you have.  Kiffin is either overconfident in believing the NCAA won’t do anything to him or he is just that stupid.  Personally, I’m thinking it is the former as the NCAA hasn’t really done anything more to Kiffin than a couple slaps on the wrist; however, with USC already in hot water all of this could come back to bite him squarely in the ass.

Either way, Southern Cal has given me just yet another reason to hate them.  Kiffin makes an even better villain than Carroll did.  Kiffykins has the same arrogance and douchebaggery that made me loathe Carroll, but then you get to add his love of committing constant violations and screwing over Tennessee on top of it all.

I would like to personally thank Southern Cal for this hire because you have now given me a constant stream of ammo to fire at your instituation.

Bravo!

Did That Just Happen?

When we look back on this college football season, I think the above is the best way to describe it.  Had Hollywood submitted a script containing events that have transpired in the past couple of months, no one would’ve bought it as even the grandest of fictions.  Well, that is also assuming someone could have sat down and actually predict any of this.

As we entered the bowl season, the biggest story was about Notre Dame firing Weis and hunting down a head coach.  Remember when we all thought that was crazy?  I mean there was all kinds of “turmoil” around (the Internet) regarding rumors that Stoops would be our next head coach.  Of course he continually denied said rumors, and somehow, many a Notre Dame was shocked and a small section downright appalled that Notre Dame could no longer land a “big name” coach and we had to “settle” for Brian Kelly.

All that “drama” became child’s play as college football (and blog writers) were soon given a Christmas keep that has kept on giving: everyone went batshit crazy.  It was one of those things in which you remember exactly where you were and how you first heard the news that everything you once thought was stable in college football would be turned upside down for no reason.

Personally, I was out with my family about an hour outside of Auburn, awaiting a tour of some Christmas lights that my sister had known about.  While we were waiting, I decided on a whim to check Twitter to see if anything was going on.  And then I saw a tweet I was sure was a joke: Urban Meyer is resigning for health reasons.  Yeah, sure…no wait…everyone on ESPN and SI is tweeting this…now there’s an official statement…

And then I started to burst out laughing uncontrollably and then my sister followed when I relayed the news.

But oh no, let’s not stop there.  The Gators had a “spirited” practice and Urban Meyer had a change of heart and wanted an indefinite leave of absence.  Oh, and Mr. I’m-doing-this-for-my-family, made sure that they were the last to know; in fact, his wife went on record to say there was no way her dear husband would change his mind.  Then a few hours later she’s sitting in a presser hearing her husband change his mind yet again, saying he expects to coach next fall.

As if that whole situation wasn’t crazy enough, that same week, the Pirate Captain of Lubbock decided to lock a concussed Adam James in an equipment shed (or “garage” — semantics) during a practice.  To make sure Leach got his point across to James, he then locked him in the visitor’s media room.

And how did this come to light?  Well, it seems ESPN analyst Craig James wasn’t able to sleep at night knowing that he has only aided in destroying one school’s football program so he went for another one and when public.  So armed with his kid’s story and some apparent video proof from his son, a shot was fired directly into the hull of Leach’s happy little pirate ship, starting shit-slinging the likes of which I can’t remember ever seeing.

Texas Tech then went to immediately investigate the issue and suspended Leach indefinitely.  Leach, who is also a lawyer as well as a pirate, sued Tech’s ass and sought for the courts, yes the courts, to allow him to coach in the Alamo Bowl.  As the two sides met for their court date, Tech found a loophole to Leach’s loophole and fired him “with cause”.

The dust storms of Lubbock quickly turned into a shit storm of epic proportions.  Leach went on ESPN and scorched the earth saying Tech lied and even stated the training staff and doctors said he did no harm, a flood of emails came in supporting Leach, and news came out that questioned Adam’s attitude as well as his father’s motivations.  But oh no, it doesn’t stop there, soon a handful of players went on the record saying they were glad the pirate walked the plank and the training staff and doctors that Leach said supported him signed affidavits saying Leach went off the deep end and used language that would’ve made Charlie Weis blush.

Somehow in the midst of all of this Tech won the Alamo Bowl with interim coach Ruffin McNeill putting on one hell of a Leach impersonation, making it seem as if both quarterbacks and head coaches can be inserted into the Leach system at will.  However, Ruffin must have done too good of a job reminding the Tech administration of Leach because they decided to hire the offensive genius of….Tommy Tuberville?  However, Tommy tried to put Red Raider nation at ease though, saying he could retain the “Air Raid” offense.  To prove this, he fired six assistant coaches, including the offensive coordinator, and then hired another one from Troy.  I seem to remember what happened the last time Tubs tried this…he had to fire him after just seven games.

And to think, just one year ago, Texas Tech was in national title talks and on the verge of a BCS birth.

Of course, there was football still to be played and that had it’s own humor to it.  I’ve already made my thoughts on this season’s bowl offerings known, but the national title game had it’s own special brand of failure.

You see the BCS runs on one thing, and that one thing has continued to keep it alive: hype.  That’s why you have the “every week is playoff” line being tossed out constantly, it hypes every single game to ridiculous proportions.  Of course, a championship of a system completely built on hype equates to a game that has been over-analyzed and over-hyped every which way for well over a month (because crowning a champion after both teams haven’t played a down in over a month makes so much sense).

Of course none of that hype or analysis ever once considered a game in which Colt McCoy gets a pinched nerve in his throwing arm and knocks him out of the game (on one of the weakest hits ever).  So in comes a true freshmen getting his first real snaps on the biggest stage possible.  Predictably, he is a deer in the headlights and despite Alabama’s best initial efforts to hand Texas early points, the Texas offense was only able to amass 6 and the Alabama started actually playing a bit, as well as benefiting from a pick-six off a shovel pass to go into halftime with a 24-6 lead.  Saban then went ultra-conservative in the second half and the Tide did a whole lot of nothing (including seeing Heisman winner Ingram get sidelined with an injury for a bit).

All of this resulted in nearly three full quarters of the most unwatchable football that I’ve ever seen.  Yes, the biggest game of the year became a running punchline for most of the night.  The BCS fat cats were saved in the end though, as Texas was actually able to pull off a comeback thanks to Saban completely hitting the brakes for who knows what reason.  However, they will still not escape the fact that their most competitive and compelling BCS game featured two non-BCS schools.

As as the final whistle blew, we all thought it was time to kick back, relax and bid farewell to one crazy season.  However, it seems a handful of people around Southern Cal decided to shake things up just a bit and make everything that happened during the bowl season look like child’s play.

That story however will take a whole other blog post to cover.  Stay tuned for tomorrow’s installment which will include NCAA violations, crappy NFL teams, near riots, idiotic ADs, the worst press conference of all time, and of course: